Home

Advertisement

gotta stay strong.

  • Nov. 18th, 2009 at 1:55 AM

Short, but complete in its own ways.

But still, it was way too soon.

His life was awesome. So complete in its own way.

See how God has things all planned out? He accepted Christ. Which was a pleasant surprise to all of us. Its a joy and relief.

I feel like my whole life is a ridicule. And if I were to pass on now, my life would just be a waste, with a gazillion regrets. That’s the contrast. I wasted so much time. He had an awesome, totally fulfilling life, and definitely not in any ways a waste at all. I’m glad I sat beside you in Sec 3!

Really have to thank God for everything. He was so so nice always!
Never really seen him angry or being unreasonable. Pleasant kid I’d say.

And he was still smiling so genuinely. Despite the treatments, having to stay home for a year or so because of sickness, wishing us all the best when we were taking O levels and he had to wait for the next year, he was always so gracious and selfless.

Too good to be true, if you really think back. Its like he never had any bad thoughts or anything like that before. His parents are so so blessed to have a child like him, and I’m blessed to have a classmate like him!

And he was always so positive, so determined to make full use of the time he had all the way. He completed his O levels last Wednesday in the hospital. I don’t know how, but he had the strength to do that. Really strong, isn’t he?

To think 1 year ago when we were taking O levels, we were so negative about it and wishing O levels didn’t exist. How naive. Complaining about basically nothing.

You fought real hard, and its all worth it! Now you’re in heaven, relieved of all the worldly troubles. :) But we’ll still miss you, and I’m sure you’d continue to live in your families’ hearts! And ours too.

As for now, treasure all your loved ones! My family(real) and my family tree. We've gone through so much together, and these are the people that matters. They'll always be there for you no matter what. And you can totally count on them to be 24/7 totally nice forever and ever!

And my poly friends too, who made my supposedly depressed poly life turn out to be really interesting.

Stay strong, stop complaining about things that actually doesn’t matter, and live a better, more fulfilling life. Like Wei Loon did. His life was short, but truly the best I’ve encountered. :)

Assignments, projects, homework, and other nooby problems. They're nothing compared to what some others are dealing with out there. Problems that are actually serious.

rest in peace.

  • Nov. 16th, 2009 at 11:35 PM

I don't know what to write really. But I just feel like I need to write a lot.

And to think, 2 years and a few months ago, he was just sitting beside me in school. Helping me with my near hopeless chinese. And 1 year ago on the streets, wishing me all the best when I was walking to school to take my O levels.

And today, I found out about it. Learn to appreciate everything(literally) in life. Even bad stuffs. They're all good. I'm never going to complain even about being single while everyone's attached anymore. All these stuffs doesn't matter AT ALL. Life is so much more about that. I was just complaining because I wasn't satisfied with what I have, which is actually a lot. Unfair isn't it. Bet he was complaining a gazillion times less than I was. Really gracious guy. And everyone knew how strong he was. I would've thrown countless tempers, shout at everyone, dislike everyone, if I had to stop school for a year for treatment. Yet he was still smiling, and you can tell its genuine. And he's nicer than so many of us, really. Life is definitely unfair. As if leukemia wasn't enough for a mere 17 year old guy. Makes you wonder how life works. I still don't know how can this happen. Its just, impossible. Like from a fairytale, a sad one..

Why did I even bother trying not to cry in school? I don't really know either. Guess I was too used to hiding my feelings, but they don't even matter at all now. I was being ridiculous. Maybe we've all been playing around for 17 years of our lives. True?

Wendy's right. We're blind to the extent that only death can open our eyes.


Gosh I feel like crying. But I gotta be strong. Because there would be people who feel worse than me. I can't whine and complain about how crazy my situation is. Because they're all like nothing now. Homework, assignments, projects, I should be thankful for being able to do them. Life's not about winning or losing, or blending in with the crowd, or having the best of everything, etc. Its just about living to the fullest. That's it. Winning or losing, blending in, having the best, they're just additional things, which doesn't even matter as long as you're living life to the fullest. I hope you did.


But life still goes on. Assignments, projects, school. I just have to deal with it. Gotta be at least a quarter as strong as he is.

Nov. 12th, 2009

  • 11:20 PM

Like so many people are, I'm moving to tumblr?!? I don't know la. I just know that its pretty! And fonts nice! Hahaha.
But I like Livejournal still. So many happy memories! So I'll leave it as it is. :D

Anyway, http://yuxiu-smiles.tumblr.com

Random url okay!

Nov. 12th, 2009

  • 12:02 AM

Accounting tutor pointed middle finger.
Accounting tutor communicated with us in Hokkien in class.
Accounting tutor guessed our dialects. 
Accounting tutor turned out to be not as decent as we thought.

5 hours break, taught Samantha Econs and Stats. Did tutorial. So tired like mad
Lecture was fine, just that it ended late today. :S
Haven't got my articles for CDS. Ugh. Can't wait to get over and done with noob cross cultural psychology! probably the most boring cds in the cross cultural studies cluster. 
Next semester, transnational studies and french would be a whole lot better.
Met Jinxuan and Juntian for awhile at bedok after lecture
Ate ice-cream somemore! Like omg. Next time, sharing session at Jx's place! Yup. Sure got things to talk about already :D:D

And I came home, found out that I have fever. :/
Bad day right. Sorry Jinxuan cause I still tried your drink! (which was nice)
So restless now. Argh. Die ah. Tomorrow never go school, i don't need to ask my cds teacher whether my article can be used or not!!

Omg and you still suck -.-

project project project

  • Nov. 4th, 2009 at 9:20 PM

First ever project meeting today. Wasn't too bad, pretty funny. (: Just that the room, although probably one of the biggest, was still pretty small I think. Felt like just kicking down every wall! 

Accounting tutorial was better today. Not as retarded. Hahaha. And Cross Cultural Psychology lecture today was really the best compared to the previous 2 which was well, kinda screwed up. LOL. And as usual, I'm so troubled!  Sometimes I just feel like throwing kiddy tantrums! 


Nov. 3rd, 2009

  • 10:22 PM

Played netball-ish captain ball with class after lessons. Finally I'm exercising! But I'm dead tired. Gots to sleep early today.

And for once, I did every single question in accounting tutorial. PLUS writing them all nicely 'cause usually I'd just do them messily! :D 

5 hour break tomorrow. Project discussion probably ahhhhhh. I wanna lose more weight!

And you're so irritating/weird/awesome.

Hayley Williams is totally awesome because her vocals are so BOOMZ. 

Got to stop this Ris Low slang. Its so not me!

Toodles!

*7 lines on purpose because I wanted to create a rainbow gosh I think I'm really too tired already!

blah.

  • Nov. 1st, 2009 at 11:41 PM

Ridiculous problems. Overly worked up. ahhhh. I just pray it'll be okay and I won't go crazy! 
Someone please give me normal? I really miss normal so so much. :/
I want to go back time, make friends with everyone in Faith 4-2. Because I've really missed out on so much! And I miss those times when things weren't over exaggerated, over rated, over blown, over, everything!

But I shouldn't beat myself up anymore because of the past. I'm sure the past had its own good points too. (:
Just have to make full use the whatever I have in the present! It should be fine. 
I'm so down everyday. It sucks. But at least I was really happy yesterday! 


Nov. 1st, 2009

  • 12:57 AM

taylor+taylor=???

  • Oct. 31st, 2009 at 1:35 PM



And so, I'm going to spend my Halloween watching special Disney Channel programs that is airing just for Halloween, then spending some time with Juntian, then having dinner and watching This Is It with awesome people. 

And, my Halloween surprise, the Taylors really seem to be dating. And I mean Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are together, like, together. I don't mean to be nasty, but I think Selena Gomez looks better for Taylor Lautner! And Swift is 2 years older than Lautner, plus she's way too tall! And, she looks way too perfect for him because I think Lautner looks better with someone fun rather than glamorous! 

Okay enough whining about the Taylors. Its non of my business after all. Hahaha! But its still shocking! 

TAYLOR LAUTNER IS SO CUTE!

'Kay, sorry for that random shout-out. (:

I realized, I have a very nasty case of forgetfulness when it comes to taking out the DVD from my laptop after watching them. I can leave them inside the DVD slot for up to a week without even realizing!

I love making videos on Renesmee (my MacBook) but I just have to find the right people. :)
And, I'll be exploring GarageBand soon, when I have the time! 

As for those ridiculous stuffs, I'm not bothering already. 1 week of negativity is definitely more than enough :D

get off my back.

  • Oct. 29th, 2009 at 8:46 PM

Do you honestly think I'm plain dumb? Or do you have something against me. Or maybe, just because I'm not all that typical, I'm not your definition of "normal", I'm quieter than most people, doesn't mean I won't flare up, or speak up for myself. And all the more, don't think you can say whatever you like, contradict yourself at the expense of my feelings, or simply just butting in with rude remarks when I wasn't even talking to you. You are really going to regret it. Sometimes I don't even wish to talk to you.

And if you think I value your screwed up opinions, I don't. Not even a teensy bit.


I've tolerated this shit for months already. Don't you think that's enough? I've never said anything about it because I didn't want to cause anymore conflicts. But you just kept going on and on, and it even got worse. Do you really think I'd tolerate forever? Or you think I'm so "dumb", I have no idea about what's going on and let you keep up with this shit for as long as we talk. 

If you even have any brain cells left, you should know better than to keep this going. Because you should know, I'm not tolerating anymore.

For goodness sake, do yourself a favor and go implant some brain cells into you head. Rob, steal, beg, I don't really care. Or get off my back and quit irritating me with your stupidity.

Haven't gotten this angry in a long time. I don't like being like this. ugh.

Oct. 26th, 2009

  • 9:40 PM

 I realized, I forgot to write about awesome Sentosa Sunday with awesome people! The water was really dirty and really salty that day and there were some small sea bugs/animals in the sea that bit us! At first I thought they were kidding but in the end they weren't! Anyway, playing in the sea is always fun regardless of the dirt/bugs/salt/weather! :D Played a bit of volleyball too. I GOT SUPER SUNBURNT. And I can't wear tee-shirts now cause it'd rub on my burnt shoulders and its really painful! And my face. Gosh. Its probably the burnt-est I got in 17 years! But I had fun so it doesn't matter! Sushi Tei for dinner. I looked so so tired in pictures man! Then L4D again. HAHA! And, it was Nicholas' first time playing L4D! Oh 1 important thing.

Me and Jinxuan won them! :DDD

Oh no have I became a lan shop regular customer?! :(
Secondary school friends are really awesome. I have no worries at all when I'm with them! 

Oh and, congrats to Huibing's sister cause she's getting married! :D Stayed back a little while after school today to do some video for her. :D
Then the guys were playing with paper planes. Then home, and after which, I just felt like sleeping and waking up when everything is over.

If you hoard love, it melts away. If you lock love, it breaks free. If you grab on to love, you end up holding an illusion. When you let love flower in its own way, it stays to support you. When you pass on love, it multiplies beyond measure.

I like this (:


Oct. 23rd, 2009

  • 6:32 PM

Finally I watched a movie after such a long time. Haeundae was... not my type. It's supposedly a movie about a tsunami. But 3/4 of the show was just random talking and some comedy. I almost fell asleep at that time! But when the Tsunami came, sad la. You see parents separated with their children and lovers struggling and all that stuffs. But yeah, I don't know what to say. But I think its not my type of tearjerker. No idea why, but in any case, Jane was against my policy of not crying in public though. Hahahah! Anyway, I have no idea whether that movie is about a natural disaster, or is it a tearjerker. And well, I won't really recommend it. Lol. And, if I don't get to watch My Sister's Keeper, I'm going to watch it online definitely. :D Today was rather fine, just that I was so bored for a period of time I started to sms Juntian! Sentosa this Sunday. Extremely excited!

So anyway, I was impatient and I watched My Sister's Keeper online already. Comparing it with Haeundae, this was a gazillion times better as a tearjerker! Or maybe its because I'm watching it at home in my room.. Hahaha!

But whatever it is, I think this movie's way better and its gonna make you cry for as long as the movie is playing! (Minus some parts duh. Crying for 1 hour and 40 mins straight is nuts) And I prefer the story also. Maybe because I think if my kid has leukemia, I'd be just like the mum in there. Holding on to make-believe hope when it reaches a point where there aren't any real ones left. 


On another side note, you suck, you're not a man, but I realize that it doesn't matter afterall. You still make me smile. I am stupid
. But it's worth it.

Anyway, I just remembered Jane saying that I seem like I'm from a girls' school because I'm like shy and all around guys. Ironically, I'm usually going out with like 2 or even 3 times more guys than girls. Haha! 

Oct. 22nd, 2009

  • 6:56 PM

Cross cultural psychology ended at 4.30pm today when it was supposed to end at 6. How peachy. Anyway, she was more normal today I guess. Haha! We went there, she talked some stuffs, we signed names, and then we're done. Totally waste time! Anyway, I'm so tired as always. Semester 2 is going to be a long tiring semester. I'm going Hong Kong this December! Coincidentally, my Aunt and her family are going too. So is Samantha. Maybe we'd go Disneyland together! Can't wait. I adore Disneyland.

Anyway, talked to Weijin for a bit in the bus. You better go Sentosa this Sunday okay! Hahaha. And Jinxuan just called me to ask something lame. LOL. Guys will always be guys. tsk!

And today sucks also. Because when I got off the bus, I couldn't find my ez-link card. Plus, I was using my mum's one today because I haven't topped mine up. And then I was so flustered I decided to just walk to the bus 64 interchange to get it. And when I reached there, I just decided to sit down and rummage through my bag one last time and after 2 minutes, I found it in between pages of my book. How infuriating is this! Then I got up and walked back home. 

*Before you think I'm crazy, my house is actually just about 5 minutes walk to the bus 64 interchange and I got off 1 stop before it reaches the interchange and so it took me like only 2 minutes to walk to the interchange if I walk fast. But then I have to walk back, you know, walking extra, which irked me big time because I was carrying 6 books! Yes 6. I bought all my books today. Super heavy! And I couldn't wait to get home because the weather is freaking hot. But anyway I'm just glad I didn't lose it if not I'm getting hell loads of nagging! Yuck yuck!

Oct. 21st, 2009

  • 10:39 PM

Cross-Cultural Psychology was, out of the world. 
The lecturer, she's like kinda nuts!!
She called Converse shoes lame. Then, I looked down at my feet cause I so happened to wear my converse today. And I love my black awesome converse! I'm going to wear it again tomorrow on purpose because I have Cross-Cultural Psychology tutorial tomorrow and she's my teacher. And she asked if anyone has hiphop songs in our phones/mp3, then none of us raised our hands. Then she said "you all should get a life" HAHA. So yeah, go that class, become nerds already! Even Jane and Cheryl! Its kinda funny yet a bit irritating. But yup, its unique la. At least not boring till i can sleep! So yup, its really quite okay. Except that I really love my Converse. Oh and, she kinda assumed that everyone in the lecture is at least Year 2 and has taking Introduction to Psychology. It was so weird! I think I don't belong there either. But whatever. Because I'm glad I'm taking it in year 1! Get over and done with the hard one first. :DD

Besides that, school was pretty much mundane as usual. And Eugene's getting cool. I feel happy for him. LOL.

And, today sucks to the max. Absolutely rotten, messed up, wrecked day. I got lost. I don't like the purple line area! Its like so near yet so far. Its so near to my house, but yet its so damn unfamiliar. I got so badly lost, I took 4 buses in total. I reached home at 9.20pm when my lecture ended at 7. I'm never taking bus 8 again. Really hate traveling alone at night. Because I can't see where am I so I wasn't sure where to drop and all. Plus, its my first time taking bus 8 home. And to make things worse, I waited for like half an hour for bus 8 to come.

And to make things even worser, I'm back at where I started. So much for trying to protect myself, I failed. When will I ever learn that its enough and I should stop already.

Oct. 20th, 2009

  • 9:54 PM

School is simply mundane. Cross Cultural Psychology tomorrow. I'm quite excited to know what's it about. But not excited about the work. I'm excited to see if there are any hot guys or not. I'm not excited about if there are nasty people. And I just remembered why I found like only 1 other people taking that now. Because I totally forgot about the Year 2 and 3 people. Going to school at 4pm tomorrow. Supposedly 6 but now there's a marketing thingy. Thats why 4. But Friday I won't have Marketing lecture! I am really blabbering nonsense am I not? School is that mundane. 

Anyway, my neighbor is the sweetest girl ever. Even after not talking much for quite some time since we each have our own thing, I could see that she was still really happy and excited to see me today! :D She totally made my day considering that school was a bore and the weather was a killer for the whole day!

On a side note, its good to be able to let go of things, instead of wanting to control them, and just embrace whatever comes! 
But, I think sometimes I just need some teensy bit of concern from some people to at least show that I actually exist. 

Oct. 19th, 2009

  • 6:33 PM

 School was alright. Could've been better if the weather wasn't super sucky!! Its even hotter than in July! Totally killed my mood. And I got nail polish today. YAY. Been wanting 1 for so long. Anyway, the weather totally suck. Hot like mad. I am so tired. Good thing is, I probably can sleep early today. (:

I'm happier now! But I just don't seem to have interest for anything. Must be weather!

Oct. 18th, 2009

  • 8:55 PM

 My whole face is itching right now and its kinda frustrating! Ahhh it better go off tomorrow cause I have school at 9am! I feel so tired and un-ready for school. Anyway, I played pool for the first time today.

Oct. 17th, 2009

  • 12:46 AM

I feel very screwed. Lets just hope its simply moodswings. :D

I MET LUNNIE TODAY WE TOOK PICTURES AND I LOVE THEM!!! Huilun, Juntian, Ruiqi, Kapei, Jinxuan, Lester, Weijin, Zhongwei, and Nicholas went to Marina Barrage! FLY KITE! :D

The kite is super cute I swear! :D:D:D:D:D:D Then, kind people helped us get it up cause we were kinda noob! Kite flying is super fun!! And oh. Uncle Zhang wore long sleeves collared top and jeans there! Because he had some formal thing in the morning and he forgot to bring a change of clothes! Ah, poor thing! Hahahaha I wanna go kite flying again! Anyway, today was SUPER HOT and there wasn't much wind. But nevermind, I'm pretty sure we'd go kite flying again another time!

Left at around 6. Met Junsiang! Then went to Funan for I don't know what! Hahahaha. Lester wanted to see shoes la. Then to Penisula Plaza, also for I don't know what! Walked to Marina, finally got food! Hahaha I ate Japanese. Not bad, but too full! Carmen and Jane came! :D Hahaha Oh and I finally got to poke Huilun after SO LONG! 

Then went to somewhere near Fullerton Hotel to slack. Sharing session. HAHAHA my primary 3 scandal. LOL. Okay, I'm really tired. Talked to Anthony's friend. He's real funny! I better sleep, soon! Ahhhh Juntian I want pictures! Hahaha! Okay anyway, I shall just upload one first. Donald Duck sure is cute!



Oh and I slept at around 5 last night. Couldn't sleep. Don't like insomnia! 
Anyway, I realize my last week of holidays kind of suck/rock.





Oct. 13th, 2009

  • 10:25 PM

Today is a noob day. Okay la not so noob.
Went to bugis with Jane and Sam and met Jinxuan and Junsiang there! 
They were on a date. So yeah, didn't disturb them too much. :D
Then we saw each other and the first thing we said was "eh what are you doing here!"
Then Jane and Sam laughed because the first thing we said wasn't hi but "eh what are you doing here!"
Okay then went to iluma. Then Jane took my phone and send some noob mushy message to Jinxuan then deleted the sent messages so I couldn't see what she typed. Then, pranked call Anthony. But he called back then I said "oh your wife jane called you la. she misses you" :D
See Jane. Who ask you disturb me so much! Then slacked at coffee bean. :D
Coffee made me sleepy man!